How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

“You’ll not only break the ice, you’ll melt it away with your new skills.” — Larry King

“The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes.” — Harvey McKay, author of “How to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive”

What is that magic quality makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their “Midas touch?”

What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people.

The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques– she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you’ll find:

  • 9 ways to make a dynamite first impression
  • 14 ways to master small talk, “big talk,” and body language
  • 14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity
  • 6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd
  • 7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone
  • 9 ways to feed someone’s ego (and know when NOT to!)
  • 11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool
  • 15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room
  • 7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten alive

In her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you’ll remember them when you really need them, including: “Rubberneck the Room,” “Be a Copyclass,” “Come Hither Hands,” “Bare Their Hot Button,” “The Great Scorecard in the Sky,” and “Play the Tombstone Game,” for big success in your social life, romance, and business.

How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner’s Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!

By the way, don’t confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil’s previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!

Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1st edition (October 10, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 007141858X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071418584
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (437 customer reviews)
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5 thoughts on “How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships”

  1. Other reviewers called this book a how-to on being insincere and manipulative. I think they completely missed the point. This book is pure and simple a guide for professionals who are shy or need improvement in their social skills.

    When you’re in the business/professional world, social skills sign your checks, so this is an essential read for career-oriented people who are a little shy or are rusty at communicating. Not knowing how to make diplomatic small talk in this world is like showing up to work everyday wearing a HITLER WAS FRAMED t-shirt. The people who have natural social skills don’t appreciate the fact that good social skills are taught. They’re taught by parents, they’re taught by friends, and some people just have to teach themselves. This book is pretty damn good for those people.

  2. I use to be so incredibly shy that I didn’t even want to leave my house. At one point my father died and I realized my own mortality and decided to go out and become a better person and to get over my shyness. I bought a few books on confidence building and books on how to hold conversations with people. I had very bad friends who put me down and who were completely selfish. I just had bad company.

    This book helped me so much in understanding how to hold a conversation with people. Leil Lowndes is a great writer and she really udnerstands what it takes to become more confident in your conversation and in yourself as a person.

    Could you use this to be phony and superficial? Yup, but that’s up to your personality and what you wish to take from this book. I decided to use this to be able to understand how to hold conversations with people and know how to create relationships. I used this one technique called the flooding smile and that as well as a few other techniques from this book and I’m now dating this beautiful girl and have a few new friends who are positive and make me feel good about myself. I bought this and the other books by Leil Lowndes. I’d definitely consider this book as one of my Meccas as well as a few other books.

  3. The 92 tricks in this book are techniques for making yourself more pleasant to talk to. People need the lubrication of small talk and etiquette for dealing with each other. Much of our interaction with each other is fairly shallow, but this shallow interaction is helpful for getting to the deeper interaction. Indeed, this book gives techniques for fairly shallow interaction between people, but knowing how to be good at shallow interaction gives you a larger number of people than you would have otherwise who are comfortable with you, with whom you can then have deeper interactions. “You see, small talk is not about facts or words. It’s about music, about melody. Small talk is about putting people at ease. It’s about making comforting noises together like cats purring, children humming, or groups chanting. You must first match your listener’s mood.” (p. 48) What I took away from this book is a greater respect for social graces.

    The five top tricks that I want to remember are: look at someone for a moment before breaking into a smile (to make them feel that the smile is a response to them in particular, rather than something that’s always pasted on your face); hang by your teeth posture (it seems like a good way to remember what good posture is supposed to look like); match the energy level of your conversation partner; when asked where you’re from or what you do, give some story to make it interesting rather than merely giving a naked city or job; regularly scramble your life (do something you’d never dream of doing, to get a broad base of experiences that will give you something in common with a larger number of people).

  4. I was casually browsing the bookstore at Miami Airport when I saw Leil Lowndes’ book “How to talk to anyone”. I skimmed through the pages, I figured I wanted to read it, and continued walking around. Then I came back, picked the book and checked out. I had 5 hours between connecting flights, so I had time to read a nice part of the book. From that point on, I started applying some of the tips – and wow.

    I’m a 41 years old introvert who hardly ever speaks to anyone that I didn’t have a reason to. I was able to apply some of the tips and obtain immediate results: I had a fun conversation with the people sitting next to me on the plane, and since then I’ve started conversations with the taxi driver, with complete strangers at my best friend’s party, with waiters, store employees, I have improved my conversations with my family, my boss, my clients… I feel that every time I walk outside the house and every interaction is an opportunity to meet people and learn new things. I feel honestly happy, I’ve found a lot of enjoyment on my vacation, and I am aware that something very important has changed in my life. This book made my life better.

  5. I borrowed this book from a friend. I was both impressed and turned off by it on many different levels. I have no interest in navigating the shark filled waters of corporate America or the yacht club and this book seems to be geared for those seeking entrée into that world. Of the 92 tips, the majority focused on working parties like a politician, making people think you like them when you secretly find them to be bores and pandering to native human egocentricity. Basically, it’s a how-to guide for people who want to learn how to be charming and fake, without seeming to be fake. All very useful for ambitious corporate folks, entrepreneurs seeking financial backing, and even musicians looking to get a record deal, no doubt, but not very useful for average people looking to improve their social skills among friends.

    For instance, the publisher’s blurb on this site brags that the book shows you “7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone”. What they don’t specify is that the author only shows you tricks to SIMULATE rapport with that person. This book is mostly about creating a complex, flexible illusion.

    Although the author had many useful tips (I made myself a list of the 19 excellent tips I want to remember and incorporate into my own life) and her writing was very entertaining, I found myself thinking – “I’m glad she’s not my friend. She may be a cool cat and a charmer, but she’s also plastic.”

    So I’m giving the book a mixed review. Be aware of why you are buying it. If you want tips on how to network (a necessity for many people to succeed in their field), this book is probably nothing short of brilliant. She’s keenly observant and gifted with the ability to analyze behavior and articulate it in an easy to understand manner.Read more ›

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